


Anakin Highwalker

by Coalmine301



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: A jedi just fukkin waltzed through his door, Bail is not paid enough to deal with this Jedi bullshit, Bail is tired of this Force bullshit, Crack Treated Seriously, Do Senators get paid?, Gen, He knew exactly what was gonna happen, Obi-wan and Ahsoka take full advantage of the situation and prank Anakin, Qui-Gon Jinn Lives, Yoda is a Troll, becasue fuk yeah, kind of, space weed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:00:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24773533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coalmine301/pseuds/Coalmine301
Summary: Yoda shows one of the grandkids his stash and it all goes downhill from there.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Yoda, Bail Organa & Breha Organa, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 7
Kudos: 84





	1. And so it begins

Anakin stared in shock at the crates crammed into the closet space. There were a lot of them, more than twenty or so all stacked together. He got the very distinct feeling that he probably shouldn’t be seeing whatever this was. That there was something forbidden and dangerous tucked away inside those crates. 

“Master, what is this?” He asked, trying to swallow down his nerves as he turned to the green old troll at his side.

The little gremlin simply plodded forward, coming up to the first of many crates. Weathered, ancient claws pried open the lid which complied with a piercing squeak of the hinges. Inside were blocks of some kind of leaf wrapped up with twine.

“Master Yoda, what are these,” Anakin found himself asking, not really sure he wanted to know the answer.

In response the Master of the order pulled out a single leaf and held it up to the dim light. It was then Anakin realized he recognized the shape. “Smoke it, you do,” the old troll reapplied, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Anakin found himself grinning in response. “Show me.”

-Not even five minutes later-

“Obi-wan! Obi-wan!” Anakin shouted into his comlink probably louder than he should. “It’s really spooky, I keep hearing footsteps.”

There was a moment of silence at the other end of the line, and then… “Are you walking?”

“HOLY SHIT!”


	2. But now I must away

“Are you sure this is gonna work, Master?” Ahsoka asked. She knew Obi-wan was surprisingly skilled at doing impressions and the disguise was pretty good -perhaps it was the beard- yet she felt a little… doubtful. A shrunken Qui-gon, who would buy that?

Then again Skyguy was about as high as a kite so it probably didn’t matter. 

“Sure I’m sure,” Obi-wan replied confidently as the young togruta climbed inside the near-floor vent. “Just watch.”

The second she had gotten the grate in place, Anakin himself just so happened to wander around the corner. He took one look at Obi-wan -decked out with a pale grey robe and grey-brown hair extensions and beard- and his eyes immediately widened. “M-master Qui-gon?” He stammered.

“Anakin,” the not-so-red-anymore-head replied with a very disappointed note to his tone. The intensity and spot-on voice caused a shiver to run up Ahsoka’s spine. “I thought Obi-wan taught you better than to mess around with Force banthapoodo.”

Qui-gon, the actual one that is, was the tallest member of their little Lineage. Just last week he had slammed his forehead into the door frame of Padme’s apartment. And at the same time Obi-wan was the third shortest, just barely taller than Ahsoka who was quickly growing taller and taller every day. 

And so Anakin found himself staring at a tiny Qui-gon, a Qui-gon who was miraculously shorter than himself. 

“Look at me,” Qui-bi-wan exclaimed. “I’m tiny!” 

And boy did Ahsoka have a hard time stifling her giggles after hearing that one. Just such an offended sentence coming from such a deep and dignified baritone. She was eternally grateful she had the idea to record this encounter. The HoloNet would certainly appreciate it.

A shit-eating grin crawled across Anakin’s features. “Awe, you’re about as short as Obi-wan, Master.”

Just then Ahsoka felt a very familiar presence approaching; the legit Qui-gon. She quickly whistled twice to alert obi-wan to this fact. 

Anakin’s eyes widened. “The walls sing!” He exclaimed giddily. 

“Yes, Anakin,” Qui-bi-wan replied flatly. “I’m sorry to leave in a rush, but now I must away.” And with that he glided gracefully down the hall with the heelys he currently wore. 

Anakin just watched him go, mouth open. In absolute amazement.

“Anakin,” a rumbling baritone asked.

The blonde whipped around to stare at the actual Qui-gon there. “Y-you’re huge!” He exclaimed. “How’d you do that?”

The taller man frowned in confusion, but that did nothing to dull Skyguy’s amazement.

Ok, now Ahsoka had to put this on the HoloNet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, the wordcount for this chapter is exactly 420. Cool!


	3. A totally normal Council meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin Highwalker: *exists*  
> Mace: This bitch empty. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

Qui-gon frowned at the young Knight, trying to figure him out. The young man wore a dopey grin, the whites of his eyes slightly red. “Anakin, are you high?” 

“Hello,” the blonde greeted far too cheerily. “Am I what?"

“High.”

“Hello.”

Ah, Qui-gon decided to take it as a yes.

-Barely thirty minutes or so later-

Obi-wan had to press the back of his hand against his lips to hide the grin pulling at his features. Oh Ahsoka was going to be pissed she missed this. 

Then again he supposed he could always record it for her. Stealthily he hit the record button on his comlink, making sure to get a good shot of the scene unfolding before him. Obi-wan doubted the other Counselors would notice. After all, they were faced with something much more... distracting.

“What happened to your hair?” Anakin asked, wide blue eyes staring in amazement at Mace Windu’s shiny dome. And then, before anyone could stop him, he whipped out a hand and “gently” slapped the Korun master’s head.

Obi-wan could have sworn he heard Yoda quietly cackle. 

“Thank you very much for your input, knight Skywalker,” Mace Windu deadpanned. “But if you do that again I will pick you up and toss you out of the council chamber myself.”

The threat would have gotten anyone else to immediately wise up. Mace was a serious and intimidating man. Even on a good day he was not known for leniency. If he made a threat then he was going to follow through on it. 

And yet Anakin didn’t seem to catch on. Perhaps it was the leaf Yoda had given him. Or maybe it was just his general lack of brain cells. Maybe a combination of both.

Either way the blonde simply grinned far too big. “No you won’t,” he argued. “You looooove me.” And with that he slapped the bald dome again.

Hmm, what do you know? Mace really wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to straight up yeet Anakin away.

Obi-wan was glad he recorded that.


	4. How'd you get in here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bail is tired of dealing with this jedi bullshit.

Breha Organa started in confusion at the tearful jedi laying with his head in her lap. “It’s just an injustice of the cruelest sort,” he sobbed. “No creature should have to suffer so.”

At this line her beloved husband, Bail, looked up from where he had frantically been trying to get a hold of Master Kenobi. With his experience dealing with jedi he had a feeling he knew how pretty much how they worked. But this… this was something else. 

The young Knight had randomly staggered into their apartment before flopping bonelessly on the couch beside Breha and began pouring his heart out. At first they expected it to be something traumatizing and serious -especially with the redness already in his eyes. Little did they know the thing that disturbed him wasn’t exactly serious. 

“What’s he going on about this time?” Bail asked, trying to keep the annoyance from his voice. Annoyance was “rood”, apparently.

Breha opened her mouth to answer her husband only for the dark haired blonde to beat her to the chase. “Snakes don’t have any arms. They’re just a face with a tail,” Skywalker tearfully explained. “They’ve never experienced a hug!”

Awkwardly, Breha patted his arm on an effort to try and console him. “There, there, don’t be cry?” She tried. Well, she never was really good at comforting people. 

Yet it seemed good enough for the young Knight. “Thanks, Padme,” he said. Breha had since given up trying to correct him every time he mistook her for the Naboo senator. Though she had heard Amidala was “a real looker” so maybe that was a compliment. Not that it did much to help with the problem on their hands.

Breha sent her husband a lost glance only to find a similar emotion in his own eyes. They were both way out of their elements here.

Suddenly Bail’s comlink sprung to life, a noble image of Master Kenobi suddenly popping up. “Senator Organa,” the redheaded jedi greeted with a quick bow. “What seems to be the problem?”

Before Bail could respond, Skywalker suddenly perked up. “Obi!” He exclaimed. “Wow, you’re blue. And tiny! How’d you do that?” He waved a clumsy hand which of course passed through his mentor’s form. Blue eyes widened in horror. “Are you dead?!”

Kenobi’s eyebrows twitched in amusement. “I think I see the issue,” the general mused, turning back to Bail. “I’ll be over in ten minutes.”


End file.
